25 February 2016

My Shield of Compassion

A couple of days ago I wrote a blog that....well it was difficult for me to do this....write about the indignation, anger and revulsion I had at that moment gotten to with all the ridiculous childish behaviour of so many witches on Facebook. I spewed it all, all that venom is now gone. I have spent today going through the comments on both the blog and the Facebook page, the responses were strong, supportive and loving but the undercurrent is a sad one, one that is so clear that so many of us fight daily for one of the simplest things of all, just to be ourselves. It made me sit back and think on my life, and as always when I reach the point of having a total explosion of anger over something so decidely unfair and malicious, the unavoidable empath in me feels the sadness of the world on her shoulders.

I have fought my entire life, for everything from the first breath to now. Life has never dealt me an easy hand, but I keep going. I have fought illness, both physical and mental and am left with a damaged body to function with. I have lived through abuse of all forms, the physical of which has contributed to the everyday issues I have, the emotional, mental and sexual abuse of course at times contributes its own demons, I kept going and I think that is when I developed a strong outer exterior, the Gods know before that I wore my heart on my sleeve, then one day I woke up and decided no one sees me cry, no one sees me fall apart, I stand strong against all that life brings forth, I defend all that I love, never caring or worrying about what will be of me. I have stood against men that would have loved to see me fall and women that plotted with them to make it happen, and still no one ever saw me cry or knew I was even remotely scared. Was I? well of course I am by no means superhuman but there is this vein in me that refuses to allow those that tried to hurt me or those I love see what they did to the heart inside the core, for their trouble they were served up strength, defense and protection from them; all fueled by an inner anger against all that is unfair. All this remembering though brings with it it's own pitfalls, not sure if this is the same for other empaths but for me it causes me to re-feel all those feelings, all those instances.

Women, we have all fought so hard for our lives, since the beginning of time, against others and from within, women pitted against each other, it is so very sad that those that fight many of the same battles choose to forget the struggles of their own, stepping on each other to reach the top of the heap and wear a crown of crap. As I started to feel the anger well up in me again at the unfairness of it all at first I was disappointed in my own feeling of anger, fearing that this is what happens to me now after all these years, my armor goes up and that made me sad....then I felt a strong voice inside me say NO follow the anger, so I allowed myself to ride the energy until in all those thoughts, after every twist and turn it took me to a curious realization....I am very defensive of those I love, the anger is the shield I cloak myself in to protect them, it is not who I am....come at me with anger and I will meet you with such fury you will be shocked, the harder you are to me the harder you will feel me be to you...there is only one way to disarm me, and it is a very simple one, one that others seem to never grasp....the only way to disarm me is kindness, plain and simple.....I have spent so much time fighting for my right to live that the only way to make me drop my harder exterior shell is to show kindness, not necessarily to me but to anyone, any display of kindness and I will openly cry, overcome with emotion for the humanity of a simple kindness or a loving word...in all my hardness, in all I have swallowed through the years and fought to uphold I have NEVER not had a word of kindness, a helping hand and a shoulder for someone to lean on....rather than judge I try to understand, place myself in their shoes and to walk alongside them.....it really becomes an eye opener when you do that.

When I sit and think of the overwhelming love and compassion I feel for those that reach out to me daily, I wish I could find a way to help you all and myself, make this place a fairer world, one that recognized the beauty in us all, I wish I could fix the wrongs and make them never happen again....and most of all I wish it was a world filled with kindness. A world where the ego of another never hurt you, where they were able to put you before themselves, maybe a world where we were really our brother's and sister's keepers....I know so very pollyanna of me...well then I guess I am guilty but wouldn't it be such a wonderful world if we all found a way to help each other rather than hinder? where we all felt protected, loved and supported by each other....I know we can't have it all, but we can try in our own ways be kinder, more loving and compassionate for each other...you want to disarm me that is it right there....be kind.....fill your own circles with love, support and compassion. Help those that come your way, sometimes you have no idea how much you can save someone just by showing you care.

We are all witches, now be kind, be compassionate and be human as well.

23 February 2016

Facebook Witch Trials

What is wrong with us? There was a time when I was proud of being a Pagan, even a Wiccan at one point, and most definitely being a Witch. I believed that we were not judgemental, we stood up for what was right even if it was unpopular and above all else we didn't gossip about each other like school children in the hall. I used to believe being Pagan meant something about our own morality. I realize now it was my big old eyes glazing over and thinking being a Witch meant something to everyone...sadly the exploits of the last 3 months or so have pounded that last nail into the coffin....these things do not mean the same to everyone within our world....and it is a sad day for those that finally have to admit that to themselves.

Witch is no longer a word that means a Wise One, no it is a word by which many hide behind, claiming to all that will listen that they are Witches, as they lie, cheat and steal from each other. Leaving behind the idea of being original, creative with their own energy they rip off each others art, spells and even teachings....what the fuck is wrong with you????!!!!??? Others go around professing their witchiness as they keep pumping out pop culture witch products that have little to no magic in them or about them but are simply their method of keeping food on their table, not that there is anything wrong with it but for fuck's sake admit what you do, that you do not really believe what you spew and the only reason that you act so nice to everyone is to keep your sales up as you "network" you may think you are fooling many but the Gods they are watching; and they don't fall for the witchy rhetoric you spew as you chase the almighty buck. Witch used to mean so much, it was respected and even feared but now with all the antics of those that use the title when they shouldn't it is becoming a word of ridicule, jokes and for me it is very sad to watch. There are many of us that watch this in horror all around us, even happening to us as one witch attack or another happens.....did you not know that the big witch pages on Facebook call on their followers to attack others that might call their actions to the light? the ones that might actually try to do things right, you know those ones that refuse to bend to what they do not feel is right, yea those ones; like me they get attacked consistently, not with spells or witchcraft but gossip, nastiness and stalkers that visit our pages both personal and public and leave nasty messages, threats and comments about how we should leave their mentors alone....mentors, high priestess' are you fucken serious? if any of you believe that those people who are inciting witch attacks are actual witches then I genuinely feel sorry for you....Next we come to the Wiccans, when did Witchcraft and Wiccan become the same thing? never in my life have I thought that they were one and the same so it confuses me how anyone that follows a Wiccan path can ever think that their way is the only way, the only path, it is but one path up the mountain. If you honestly think that being Wiccan makes you superior in some way, well then I fear you will come to learn the ridiculousness of your thought.....DO NOT JUDGE! realize instead that we all follow the path we choose and what calls to us, not all witches are wiccans and not all wiccans are witches.....chew on that for minute and let it sink in.......these are not the actions of a Witch, these are the actions of cowards hiding behind the title hoping it still incites some sort of fear....to you I say this SHAME ON YOU! you literally disgust me and the bile rises whenever I happen to see one of your newest attacks or witch hunts.....all I can comfort myself with is that the ground work you lay for others today will be your self fulfilling prophecy of tomorrow...be careful with your words, their sweetness may sour quickly when you are forced to eat them.

I live, breathe, sleep and eat witchcraft, I am Witch, I am no better or worse than anyone else, I am simply better than I was yesterday, I judge no one for their spiritual path, I hurt no one unless they try to hurt me first and I protect those I love to the ends of time, these are simple words from a simple old witch, when I was a solitary witch I longed for companionship and a way to connect with others, sadly now that I have sampled so many of those connections I have come to crave my solitary life. I share my spells and I keep others to myself, I share my love of Yemaya daily, I share my devotion to the Gods, but I never think that I am more than them, I rise through them.....I wonder sometimes where the respect has gone? maybe I am a creature of a distant time one that won't come back but I hope not, I hope that some how these words, my path and my page will have an impact, somehow it will make it better for someone else that is facing these witch attacks these days like I do.....maybe somehow our community as a whole will recognize that we do not need to fear the ones outside of us, no we have to fear the ones within our own community......they are the ones pointing fingers and accusing the innocents, while they hide their own misdeeds....these thoughts should literally chill you to the bone.

I point all your fingers right back at you, and these are the words that I am throwing to the winds in the cycle of this Full Moon

To cause no harm nor return on me
As I so will So Mote it be