Sometime back in October, possibly around the first anniversary of the passing of a friend of ours, someone that made the fact that not one moment of life is promised to any of us so painfully clear....he was 36, a father of two and a husband, and he was our friend....his loss was felt so deeply that it took us almost a year to recover in so many ways, not the obvious emotional ones because I am not quite sure that my husband will ever recover. Me though I am always so good at living in the moment that occasionally I like to sit and look back and reconnect the steps that have brought me to a new level of learning and to new opportunities for the future, this today seems to be one of those moments. Little did both of us know that as we held each other a little closer each nite, as we appreciated each morning waking up next to each other in a different light that this was changing us on the inside too, teaching us to open up to the feelings of gratitude within us.....the long forgotten feeling of loving life, our life with all its pitfalls and poverty we still were so rich in that we have each other, and we were suddenly reminded of this in a way we could not pretend we hadn't seen.
That's how it started, in October it hit me like a ton of bricks that I needed to create the life I wanted, the positive path that I wanted to walk well I needed to lay the foundation and pave the way, so I did. Strangely it had never occurred to me that the people that I chose to surround myself with even on something as silly as a social site could affect my home life but it sure did, it affected my state of mind and that in turn affected my life with my family, well I was having no more of that and the great purge of 2013 started....granted some managed to hang on into 2014 but were quickly dealt as well.....my personal profile is just that my personal profile, there is no reason to have anyone that is negative about me, my life, my path, my art or anything else that is important to me on it, it is an extension of my personal life, let us not kid ourselves it is for all of us. It is where we share our bits of our life, pictures, loves, children, joys, losses, heartbreaks....so why would we want to share that with those that push us down or tread on us? and realistically the ones that weren't removed for negativeness, well the reality is that if in whatever amount of time you were on my list you didn't interact, say hello, comment or even know I existed well then you will not miss my absence either. The haters well you all know what you can do right?
So what has been the effect of all this on my life? well I found time to take some wonderful classes at Daily OM, to which my connection with the wire well it exploded! with my art in general it just went wild! my writing well it doesn't stop, the blocks gone....some of my creations even made it into a store! and another one is taking them on in May in a whole other province! how cool is that!.....my family life has only improved, a new closeness that has only deepened our connection and I really did not think that was possible...even repairing old relationships from the past.....Then I was directed to a wonderful one year program that is completely free the Touch the Earth Paganism over at Old Ways, just cannot say enough about this program and how it can help you find the positive on those days when the negative tries and I emphasise tries to push it's way through, not to mention the love, support and good energy of this amazing group of people....I am lighting my own way on this path but I am far from alone as I found my community along the way and they welcomed me with open arms....the problems in my life have not disappeared, I am not having an "up" moment for all those haters and trolls (no offence to real one) that insist it must be mental health issues, the only thing that has changed is my own outlook on my life and the removal of the trolls from it.....nothing spectacular or hard to understand just like anything else that is allowed to just go along sometimes it requires a bit of a readjust.......and that is exactly what I did readjust.
My life is not perfect, but it is MY life how I choose it to be, and with whom I choose it to be.....and ah! that feels sooo soooo good you just cannot imagine!