Hi my name is Tess, some call me Teresa, others call me Mom, Avo, and even Bitch and StepBitch, yep I have many names......there are also just as many snide stories, comments and bullshit thoughts about me as there are real and genuine ones that come from relationships with me, people that went beyond what they thought they knew about me to actually get to know me and formulate a truthful opinion. Today being my "bad" day in the healing process from the accidental prolonged exposure to gluten I guess the whole thing about the misconceptions has finally boiled over and I want to say a few things, so here goes!
1. I have an autoimmune disease and have had since I was in my late 20's and yes I was diagnosed with Fibro at 23, those wonderful brain fogs really get me, I miss my memories as sometimes they become jumbled and lost.....when digital cameras came along they became my best friends....they instantly preserve the memories for me so that I can look back and relive and remember sometimes important moments.....pictures fill in the holes in my own mind that chronic illness has taken.....so yes I share a lot of pictures and will for many more years to come, think of that next time you whisper.
2. I am pretty open about my life, my issues and what I may or may not have done but that does not mean that my family is up for discussion....I am like that mama Bear you might hear about protecting her young, except my young never get too old for me to do this, so tread very lightly when it comes to my family or you will meet the evil witch much sooner than you had hoped.
3. I have said this many times before but I guess I must say it again....even though I go by the name WiccanGodess ~ it is a LONG story ~ I am NOT Wiccan! I was when I started this walk into modern day witchcraft, but no I am NO longer a Wiccan.....I am a Witch plain and simple, I follow old ways that are more based on my own culture, both herbally and energetically......my path is one that is mixed with Brazilian/African culture and a somewhat Celtic slant that directly relates to my own heritage and its mixed history....I do not try to teach anyone, I answer questions when I can but because it is such a very personal path for me it is hard for others to grasp at times because I truly do things my own way....and yes that means I work with both sides of energy.
4. Yes I am an Artist, no this does not mean that I only create for the sake of creating and crafting, I wish I could but no I create because it helps me to support my family, as well as giving me a sense of freedom and purpose.....being disabled by disease and chronic conditions strips much of you away, battling it for almost 30 years now took parts of me that I thought I would never recover, until the wire, with every twist and turn I always feel my energy return....crafting saved my life on an internal and external level......crafting gives me hope.
5. Lastly! Judgement....have you heard me say before how much I hate judgment? there is always someone judging me, there is always something I am doing that is causing someone to get their knickers in a knot.....that bandwagon to jump on the judge, criticize, talk shit and smile to her face bandwagon seems to love to go around on a regular basis....sometimes I wonder if they ever stop to think that I know, of course I know....one of those gifts that I have carried my entire life is the gift of knowing, instantly seeing and hearing all of that.....sometimes not such a gift......let that shit go! or I promise you it will eat you up!
Perspective, there is mine and there is yours....sometimes when you don't know something your perspective is skewed.....try speaking to me, finding out what the scoop is instead of making up your mind based on half truths and someone else's whispered bullshit, I always give everyone one chance to ask questions.
and the block is gone!
07 August 2015
This week has been one of those weeks that every day seems to stretch into an eternity, seeming like the week never ends but rather you are stuck in a time warp, over and over again something akin to the movie Groundhog Day, to say that I am glad, even extremely grateful to see the end of it would be an understatement. This week was surrounded with death, with reports in the media of a very unritualistic supposed Wiccan killing, the death of a television personality and ultimately one of our own landscape customers. Death was all around and visited close to home.....and if you are well acquainted with death then you know it will always make you think, go deep inside and visit those recess' of your heart and soul, couple that with the Blue Moon that was just last Friday and if you are an intuitive, empath or even slightly spiritual you will feel that you have been through the proverbial ringer....or at least I do.....
There were many emotions to process, when there is a life lost it is always a moment of sadness, some you find a way out of by feeling that at the very least they had a very good life and enjoyed it to the fullest although that is not really a comfort to the ones that are left missing them, or wishing that somehow they could turn back time to say all those things they thought they had tomorrow to say....tomorrow is never promised, say them today! I learnt this painful lesson when my father passed, I do my utmost to not leave things unsaid anymore.....so I told my mom I was sorry, for not stopping to see her as a woman before, for not being able to clear my eyes and see her reality before I lived it. That which you judge ye shall reap, yep and reap I did...I lived the crushing poverty, anyone that has been with me here on Witch's Chamber knows this, poverty to the point of putting food on the table to make sure they ate and you going without....the moments of sewing together clothes that the fibres have let go of simply because they have been worn through, so you learn to darn your clothes as if they were socks....I have lived through being a pariah and being treated like I was nothing, either because I am a witch, or the olive color of my skin or simply that I am different, not a complacent person, one that has a strong relationship with her husband and expresses her opinion because at the end of the day it is him and I against the world not him against me as parts of his family tried to make him believe.....amazing isn't it? I went to another province and lived her exact life, the hardships, the loneliness, the lack of connection with people that although there is nothing wrong with them you just cannot connect because you are from two different worlds, overall just a feeling of not belonging......I loved the place, I loved the Ocean and the ability to lay in Yemaya's waters, and I am thankful for those that tried real hard and made it through my protective shield, but I missed my own soil, never thought I would say that but I did.....I missed my own family, good or bad they get me.....although it was very hard to come back to this place where we lost it all, it was necessary to take back this part of our lives and do it right this time....one of the other things we experienced living through all that was also the great sense of family, the love and devotion we all have for each other even fractured right now with half here and half back there we still stand united, we have commitment, loyalty, strength and boundless love for each other....and for the rest of the world we have boundaries now, sealed in salt and dragons blood and a few other witchy things. Our personal visit from death this week finally made these words flow for me so here we go again, in an old place, a new beginning, this is scary shit!
The more public visits by death made me quite upset, angry even at the ignorance of the sheriff in Pensacola, FL who felt the need to state things that he obviously knows nothing about! Stupid people say stupid things everyday but this well it was very irresponsible, in a time when moments of frenzy seem to take people over against one group or another for me means that people in authority should be more responsible with their words, the words uttered by that sheriff in total ignorance of what Wicca is or stands for are enough to cause witch hunts to break out.....people fear what they do not understand, and fear and ignorance make very dangerous bedfellows.......I know that elders in the community have done what they do and stood up and have attempted to clarify these things already so I am not writing this to hitch to their wagon, but simply because it really pissed me off......partially at our own community, how much bloody effort do we spend trying to discount each others paths? how much energy is spent with stupid ass witch wars? how much community is there these days that is not infected with ego, pride and my magic is better than yours? on the page I see it all the time, I delete and ban people for it! I have such a hard time wrapping my head around it really, for a community that purports to be about freedom of choice, finding your own path and all that jazz they sure do judge, snicker and put down anything that may not be part of their particular path.....before someone out there gets all freaky of course I am not saying everyone is like this but if you are honest you will admit that there is a strong number of them that are.....how do we ever expect anyone out there that isn't Pagan to understand if we as a community cannot even understand each other? Someone on my page asked me about a post, wondering what it had to do with being a witch, sad part is that yes the post did not mention or discuss witchcraft at all very true but the point it did go to was about being a good person and that was lost in their need to proclaim their path as the best and only way.....sad, angering, upsetting and well just a very clear example of what is being lost....us, you , me all of us we are getting lost in the fight to prove which way up the mountain we should all go....wake up! we cannot make the rest of the non Pagan world understand if we cannot find unity within ourselves!
Broaden your perspective, try to listen to those around you, judge not, accept yes......this life is all you have to make a difference, all you have to make others see....now what would you like them to see? Be good people....makes being a witch so much better!