There were many emotions to process, when there is a life lost it is always a moment of sadness, some you find a way out of by feeling that at the very least they had a very good life and enjoyed it to the fullest although that is not really a comfort to the ones that are left missing them, or wishing that somehow they could turn back time to say all those things they thought they had tomorrow to say....tomorrow is never promised, say them today! I learnt this painful lesson when my father passed, I do my utmost to not leave things unsaid anymore.....so I told my mom I was sorry, for not stopping to see her as a woman before, for not being able to clear my eyes and see her reality before I lived it. That which you judge ye shall reap, yep and reap I did...I lived the crushing poverty, anyone that has been with me here on Witch's Chamber knows this, poverty to the point of putting food on the table to make sure they ate and you going without....the moments of sewing together clothes that the fibres have let go of simply because they have been worn through, so you learn to darn your clothes as if they were socks....I have lived through being a pariah and being treated like I was nothing, either because I am a witch, or the olive color of my skin or simply that I am different, not a complacent person, one that has a strong relationship with her husband and expresses her opinion because at the end of the day it is him and I against the world not him against me as parts of his family tried to make him believe.....amazing isn't it? I went to another province and lived her exact life, the hardships, the loneliness, the lack of connection with people that although there is nothing wrong with them you just cannot connect because you are from two different worlds, overall just a feeling of not belonging......I loved the place, I loved the Ocean and the ability to lay in Yemaya's waters, and I am thankful for those that tried real hard and made it through my protective shield, but I missed my own soil, never thought I would say that but I did.....I missed my own family, good or bad they get me.....although it was very hard to come back to this place where we lost it all, it was necessary to take back this part of our lives and do it right this time....one of the other things we experienced living through all that was also the great sense of family, the love and devotion we all have for each other even fractured right now with half here and half back there we still stand united, we have commitment, loyalty, strength and boundless love for each other....and for the rest of the world we have boundaries now, sealed in salt and dragons blood and a few other witchy things. Our personal visit from death this week finally made these words flow for me so here we go again, in an old place, a new beginning, this is scary shit!
The more public visits by death made me quite upset, angry even at the ignorance of the sheriff in Pensacola, FL who felt the need to state things that he obviously knows nothing about! Stupid people say stupid things everyday but this well it was very irresponsible, in a time when moments of frenzy seem to take people over against one group or another for me means that people in authority should be more responsible with their words, the words uttered by that sheriff in total ignorance of what Wicca is or stands for are enough to cause witch hunts to break out.....people fear what they do not understand, and fear and ignorance make very dangerous bedfellows.......I know that elders in the community have done what they do and stood up and have attempted to clarify these things already so I am not writing this to hitch to their wagon, but simply because it really pissed me off......partially at our own community, how much bloody effort do we spend trying to discount each others paths? how much energy is spent with stupid ass witch wars? how much community is there these days that is not infected with ego, pride and my magic is better than yours? on the page I see it all the time, I delete and ban people for it! I have such a hard time wrapping my head around it really, for a community that purports to be about freedom of choice, finding your own path and all that jazz they sure do judge, snicker and put down anything that may not be part of their particular path.....before someone out there gets all freaky of course I am not saying everyone is like this but if you are honest you will admit that there is a strong number of them that are.....how do we ever expect anyone out there that isn't Pagan to understand if we as a community cannot even understand each other? Someone on my page asked me about a post, wondering what it had to do with being a witch, sad part is that yes the post did not mention or discuss witchcraft at all very true but the point it did go to was about being a good person and that was lost in their need to proclaim their path as the best and only way.....sad, angering, upsetting and well just a very clear example of what is being lost....us, you , me all of us we are getting lost in the fight to prove which way up the mountain we should all go....wake up! we cannot make the rest of the non Pagan world understand if we cannot find unity within ourselves!
Broaden your perspective, try to listen to those around you, judge not, accept yes......this life is all you have to make a difference, all you have to make others see....now what would you like them to see? Be good people....makes being a witch so much better!