07 December 2014

Hold onto your Magic

My day starts the same way everyday, I wake up and groan as I try to get out of bed. For the last almost six months I have lived in a constant agony of pain, some days are better than others but for the most part it hurts. I sit more than I used to, I get tired faster as well, but I keep going. While things are getting better on one level they are still hard on many others; like many of you out there that read my blog, because at the end of the day we all have our own issues in our lives that make our lives difficult, none of us are immune to the daily struggles of life on Earth. Still though this week a few times I kinda lost my shit; let it get to me and vented a bit on my wall, and then of course a whole heck of a lot to the lucky ones that messaged me to find out what the scoop was. Yep that is right I let my crazy have free reign a little this week, as uncomfortable as that may make some people, yep that is right I noticed the drop in friends and it made me think about a statement I made a while back.......What if I told you our biggest problem is not religion, politics or money. It is our disconnection from our own humanity.

Big statement that one, isn't it? so what gives me the authority to make such a huge statement? did I study in a university? or have some schooling that qualifies me to make such a statement? nope, nope and nope but my qualifications come from a much higher source when it comes to making a statement like that, my right to say this comes from the undeniable truth that I am very human. I have now lived in different stations in life, within different cultures and in entirely different ends of my local geography. I began with a life 46 yrs ago in an infinitely different place than where I am now. I have been daughter, mother, wife and sister. I have been comfortable, wealthy and dirt poor. Not only have I seen and been all these things but I have watched myself and others and how things change within and without as circumstances around us change. You cannot live through what we have just gone through and continue to try to pull ourselves out of without it affecting you on an inner core level, well at least in my humble opinion, so if that is not enough qualification for you then stop reading now, for others let me tell you this is some serious shit!

Why are we so afraid of human emotion? is it really somehow so ugly and disgusting of us to admit to weakness, or to even admit to another that we may need help? I find it so sad to realize that help is one of those things that we should be able to all rely on in each other, but in truth the world has become such a cold and bitter place at times, and when you have no money it becomes an even colder one. Our governments hand out stiffer sentences to those that steal money from them than they do those that rape or murder, somehow creating this prevailing energy that human life is much less important than the economy and government coffers. Can it be any wonder that our society values and measures your success by the car you drive? Let me tell you a little story; yesterday my husband and I were out with our beat up old Chevy truck, our old money maker back from when things were good and what we had we shared with all those around, she is not great now but she still runs like a dream......we stopped at the gas station and inside was a local man we recognize from the grocery store not a particularly memorable person other than his envious energy and need to gossip really stands out, and yesterday maybe it was the full moon or maybe it was the week I had, I had enough, my truck is old but she runs well and takes care of me, my home as my husband says it may not be the Taj Mahal but I find shelter and love here, I may not have tons of money but I am happy in my life and for the hard bits I hold onto my magic. Well let us just say he could not look at me, even when I passed him once again in the middle of town, if he could have found a hole to crawl into he would have. 

After some time the husband well he is finally back to work, it will take some time to pull us out of that hole that just well grew to the size of an enormous crater, and it will continue to feel like every day when we crawl a little further up the side the ground might just cave below us, but still we will keep going. Everything costs in this world, even the ability for him to work costs us money we don't have till he works a bit, it is a constant cycle of outflowing before it will start to really flow inwards and remain. There are bills to pay, things to take care of that do not wait, responsibilities that require taking care of, these are the realities of life....the car I drive no matter how old is irrelevant, at this point I am simply glad I still have a vehicle that keeps going. You tell me if that man is thinking about how hard my human struggle is or if he is just poking at someone he sees as having less than him.....you tell me if you think he has lost his humanity or if he retains it when he goes to church on Sundays only? or is that just to keep everyone else from pointing and mocking him as he does to others? how connected to the creator/ess is that behaviour? 

Every day I get up and I do the same thing, I groan as I move, then I light the candle on my altar and chant for a new day that is opening before me. Everyday I ask for the protection, love and understanding to go out into the world. I ask that my family and the families of those in need be taken care of. Everyday I sign onto my page, my little piece of me and I offer to help, I extend love and blessings to those that come my way. I create and I bend wire as I try to help pull my family out of this circumstance, everyday I hold onto my magic as I craft the life I want to live around me. I post moments hoping that the eyes reading them will feel the magic and let it fill them, rather than get stuck on the realities of the words. I figure if one person is reached then it maybe can create an avalanche of change. I pray for the day that we all can be connected and feel for each other the way it should always have been, the day where we cannot stand to see our fellow humans in pain because it hurts us if we do. It is only because our connection has faltered that religion, politics or money have even been able to become such a problem. I could sit and see things the way that man does, I could feel as negative and greedy with life as he is, but everyday I choose to strengthen that connection rather than let it die, I choose to hold onto my magic.

Everyday I start my day the same way.....I say a prayer for you, won't you join me? see if we can turn this shit around? 


  1. Yep, I will join you! And I know a few others who will be happy to join in as well...

  2. Yes I will join you!