I have been silent for some time now, a swirl of activity is always around me, I am very vocal in real time but the ability to write at times eludes me, never because of a lack of things to say but more because the thoughts fly furiously from one area to another, there is so much for me to say that it becomes overwhelming to even begin! This last year has been a difficult one for me and my family and for many other people as well, so much loss this year, so much pain and anger. My family has struggled this year with health issues from mental health to physical, accepting my loss of complete mobility independence has been quite the difficult experience for me. I think it becomes even harder for those of us that are empaths when our socialization becomes filled with anger in the world and our safe spaces are invaded with pain....and that is where I found myself for much of this year, processing not just my own pain, both physical and emotional but in taking in and feeling the pain of all those connected to me, shields or not when it is all encompassing everywhere you will feel it no matter how strong your shields are, and by our own very compassionate hearts we are doomed to process it.
The world is a crazy place right now, I think this every day as I get up and look through the morning posts. Nothing makes sense anymore really, and yet it is all so very clear, in a sick sort of way it was easy to see it coming, but yet we didn't, we couldn't see, we became complacent, thought it would never happen again and it snuck up on us all...out of sight out of mind they say.....words never truer spoken honestly...the veil has fallen and now the ugly, vile, hatred that festered under the surface has boiled over, and none of us anywhere will ever be the same again.....and the reality of it all is terrifying. That is where we all are, whether by choice or not so now what do we do about it? That is where I have been stuck for some time, wondering what can I actually do? how can I help? and can I even make it past my own triggers of abuse to reach out and help others? This entire year has been like watching some giant reality show that has triggered every domestic abuse memory in my life, one by one I have seen the effects in myself, thankfully my old guy is understanding and helps me, listens, holds and cares for me as I process, I am a lucky witch.....but what about everyone else that does not have that kind of support, how is this all affecting them? I can tell you from some of the support requests I have gotten it is not well, everyone is struggling, hearts are breaking, souls are preparing to hide for the next while until they might someday feel a semblance of safety again. It is just all too much to even contemplate for my mind right now, too far reaching and way too overwhelming and that is where I am again overwhelmed......so I had to go deep to find my happy place....out came my wire.
Wire, all kinds of colors, rainbows of colors, my hands hurt like I can't even explain how much, my joints are swelling randomly and I have issues bending them but my familiar callous of pulling wire is there again, I am surrounding myself in rainbows and dragons.....I am trying to find a way to cope and the only way for me to pull my heart out of the darkness is to create, bring to life, surround myself with color so that I can start to send love out in waves again. Walking now is very difficult at times, not always but way too much of the time still, my ankles are not liking it so much so now the actual function of stepping gets a little difficult at times so wire is good, keeps me seated and working...I try not to complain but the truth is that my physical abilities are deteriorating faster than I care to admit...while I wrap though I am present, centered and grounded, the pain becomes something else as I connect to the energies around me, my face changes, my eyes visibly in trance, it is a meditation an all encompassing one, it creates a fire that burns as I twist, the one that makes me breathe heavy as my heart pumps louder and harder I am out of breath and actually having a work out as if I was up there doing jumping jacks because I feel as spent as if I was, their fire moves through me and comes out my fingers into the creations that I am so gratefully gifted with crafting.....am I escaping? fucken right I am, to my safe place, to the place where I connect with my Gods, receive inspiration and the will to keep going. I don't expect my rainbow trees and dragons eyes to save the world, my oils to cure the ills, I just know that creating, crafting and in turn taking care of my family is how I craft my magic and my magic is rooted in love.....do I expect that to make a difference? hell yea, and anyone that claims empath or intuitive will say the same, only when rooted in love can we make a difference.....start with your corner of the world, try to radiate it out in any way you can....we all have to get past the overwhelm and radiate love and strength....I can do it, we can do it and it will make a difference.....
I truly wish for peace, kindness, love and family for us all through these difficult times, a Merry Yule to you all out there, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, in my home we celebrate it all, this year on our table will be a special candle lit to all those out there that need a little love and support, and it shall burn all year on my altar, that is how I will continue to send love to those that need it. Help where you can in any way you can...be safe, be strong and help those around you....be good people, and the darkness won't win.
Many blessings to you all from me, my old guy, and the kidlets and furbabies here at Witch's Chamber!