04 March 2014

Just cause its time and its Tuesday

So I have been away from writing for a while, not so much that I have not been creating because I have, lots of wire has swirled around me, creations have come easily as the energy wields itself into some new pendant, bracelet or ring.  The gemstones seem to know exactly how they wish to be shown, where the wire will sit naturally and where it will fight against me, finally making me give up and just allow it to do as it sees fit....a lesson that was not lost on me as I looked at my torn apart fingers, jagged, dry and in some instances bleeding.  How utterly perfect that in that moment, the story of my life flashed through my brain, seen as small snippets of pain, anguish, hurt and joy.......was there more pain and anguish really? hell yes there was, not just in my mind but in my reality, and there went those connections again....suddenly seeing the strands of connection in my life, just like the silver plated wire that runs through my hands as I twist and meld it into place.......the scars on my fingers are nothing compared to the scars on my heart.  But hell I promise you this is not a sad blog this is more of a kind of rant, even not that either, more of a wtf? seriously? what has become wrong with our world??? yea its that kind of blog.

See in working with the wire and learning to allow it to mold itself it suddenly hit me that I could avoid all the gashes on my fingers by doing that one simple thing, rather than directing it allowing its natural direction to make itself known to me! Imagine if that little tidbit had sunk in for me all those years ago??? Imagine if I had learnt to listen to my inner core as much as I listen and feel the energy of the wire and stones I work with now? the scars might not have been so bad but at the same time I realize they were necessary so that right now today I could look back and see all this....know myself right down deep into my core, be totally truthful with myself and those that deserve my truth to be shared with them, those that don't well move on, don't troll my blog or my pages or do, really I couldn't give a tiny rats ass anymore, truth is you were never that important in my life to begin with to be adding some great big significance to what I actually think, like or do. If ya think I sound mean well then maybe I do, but again my own life, my own path and my own words, they do not have to be yours..........kinda seeing where this whole rant thing is going yet?

Well because I have been taking the time to absorb, learn and meditate on who I am and what my goals are means that I was also afforded the right to observe quietly all the goings on in our little virtual world, and yea yea I know for all you that go on about having a "real" life outside of Facebook, lets get real with you first.....for some people for the ones like me that have physical realities of why they cannot go out and enjoy all the live events it is what it is, friendships that happen online do actually constitute real friends, I know I have travelled halfway across the world and one ocean to meet mine so next! the part about the whole social media thing that really bothers me is the constant my path is better than yours na na nana na! or the what do you mean you believe in the Fae? oh you must be a fluffy bunny....like wtf? really people when did all you so called evolved pagans become such close minded individuals.....like seriously I have watched and experienced since the last time I wrote a blog all manners of this crap, this decidedly negative bullshit being spewed everywhere......what the hell ever happened to keeping your mouth shut? not being so narrow minded or even for a start actually believing the shit you spew in the same breath with endless memes about how all paths up the mountain may not be the same but they lead to the same place, have you just stepped in your shit when you tried to push someone off the mountain? it gets really tiring to see such ugliness come out of such otherwise deceivingly educated mouths, but I have also realized that ignorance on these subjects seems to permeate all levels of education and is not dependent on it at all.........in other words morons come in all shapes, sizes, genders and any other identifying notion you can come up with.

I struggle with real world issues, I run my own little shop, I create, I struggle to pay for shit cause in truth I live under the line that exists below the poverty line, I don't bitch, moan or complain I cope.....I deal with things like this week the anniversary of the loss of my father, the idea of putting food on the table and keeping the lights on, these are all real world issues for me, so in truth the little puffed out chests that are so called above me mean shit to me.  What means something to me is getting up everyday and replacing one bad moment or one bad reality with one good one.....what matters is my little guy smiling at me and saying yes I KNOW you love me you tell me all the time! what matters is the one person that reaches out to me on Facebook and says thank you.....or shares their story with me about their own family and their life, its not all about the money folks, its about the life, the energy and those that can help you enrich your emotional reality as you enrich theirs......for me ego really has no place in this path and I really wish there were more of us......warriors of spirit, for the simple reason that we believe love and encouragement is the way, not ego and stomping on others to get our faces out there and our noses up in the air.......

I am ok with me and who I am.....be ok with you.......tell the ones that aren't to move on and go figure their shit out we got this!


  1. I was wondering when this would happen for you. I've been sitting patiently waiting for you to finally get enough and tell those less than humans to go blow themselves, And you did a mighty fine job of it. Hooray, Tess!! HOORAY!!