17 July 2016

Social Media, Body Shaming and stopping the hate

I have started this and erased the first line three times now, none of them seem to be right, so here it is......I am angry, disappointed and upset with humans....not all humans but a very distinct portion of them, and if you give me a few minutes of your time I will elaborate, the last thing I want is anyone getting lumped into this undeservedly so....let us start with Social Media, the animal that it is, the "waste of time" as some label it ~ even as they update their pages ~ the truth of it is that Social Media is here to stay, like or it or not. For many that use it like me, either empath, witch, spiritualist or others it is where we follow world happenings, having given up on traditional news casts years ago, we read and learn about it all there, in this way it serves a great function, of course keeping in mind to verify the stories you see, since there are many of pink alligators that have grown wings as well.....Social media has become something that is a mainstay in most lives these days, in one form or another most humans do visit any number of sites weekly or daily.....this week on it I witnessed one woman come out in support of the freedom of all to be who they are, while another completely humiliated an innocent unsuspecting woman in a gym shower...social media of course spread that picture far and wide, some blamed the beast, others rightly so blamed the person that actually did such a vile thing......for me the truth of the matter was that social media didn't create this environment of divisiveness, arrogance, disregard for the rights of others, total lack of respect, and even the lack of empathyf...the ability to see our fellow humans as worthy, that is gone, no it was not social media that created this condition....no that my fellow humans was US!

We have among us those that feel that we are mere objects, each of us to dissected, chided, commented on and discussed, not in a positive light but in an effort to body shame those of us that may not measure up to some yardstick they must carry.....which from what I can see must seriously be up their ass! Let me be clear here for the record I am not discussing fat shaming, no I am discussing body shaming and the larger issue it really points to, well at least in my opinion. I am a larger woman, I always have been, it seesaws and moves from one extreme to the other, depending on where my health is floundering and when it is better, right now I am possibly needing the addition of a cane soon, because my knees cannot handle the pressure, yet my diet is not problem.....no for me it is chronic pain, a body that does function internally in a normal way and problems of mobility. I am body shamed often, people gossip, comment and snicker....family, strangers, friends, enemies, it matters not it matters that I am not perfect by their standards of what is beautiful so it opens me to all kinds of ugliness....I have watched other women scan my grocery cart and look amazed with the contents and being who I am I have heard those thoughts as they race through their small minds.....no my reason for my size has nothing to do with what I eat or how much of it.....but you wouldn't know that by now you will have judged me by my exterior and I have been found to be considered substandard, the victim of body shaming both from strangers and even family....that's right it happens from strangers and those closest to you....then we have my daughter, she is tiny, she eats well, let me tell you. As a child I had people tell me I should feed her more, she was all elbows and knees....bones really but such a healthy apetite, well those people that said it to me when she was a child now say it to her, they comment on her weight, say things about how they wish they could look like that, or wow do you ever eat? Again shake my damn head! 
My daughter and I  ~ Copyright Witch's Chamber

I wonder how many of them have stopped to find if there is a health reason for this, how many know her doctor is actually monitoring her weight as it is getting too low? yet she eats well and plenty, she worries about this, doesn't find it a compliment or a cute little joke when others comment on it either, but yet because she is not large, she is tiny it seems to be ok to comment. I know when she has tried to express how it makes her feel it is shrugged off as being too sensitive...is she being too sensitive? fuck NO! and is it ok to make comments? NO it is NOT! all of these things are body shaming, all of these things are damaging.....all of these things hurt a real live flesh and blood human being....in this case my beautiful daughter.....This is her and I, a rare picture, and one that shows we are one, distinctly part of each other and yet distinct individuals....each with our problem on two very different ends of the spectrum. 

Somewhere along the line we lost the ability to really see our fellow brothers and sisters as important, worthy and as even simply our own...many look at each other now as competition, unworthy, it is all about eat or be eaten.....step on or step out....well I step out, this is not who I am this is never who I will be....body shaming, mental health shaming, bullying, so called warped "honor" killings, mass shootings, rapes, disaster after disaster that loses amounts of human souls the list of the ways we are all killing each other goes on and on, and if you think body shaming is a frivolous subject considering all that is happening in the world then you miss the entire point....there is no frivolous subject when it comes to we treat each other and what we deem to be up for poking fun at......what Dani Mathers did to the woman in the locker room was by no means frivolous, in her own apology she showed the disconnect where she felt sorry she had shared it publicly not that she was sorry she felt privileged enough to feel she was entitled by what she deems to be her perfect body to take that picture AND in her implied words it would have been ok if she had known how to use snapchat properly enough to only send it to one friend....ummm.....hold the fucking phone! ummmm WHAT THE FUCK??? really there is no sorrow there, there is admission of its ok to do this to another woman.....and in an instant the truth of her character is revealed.....sadly for many of us the moment where our critics are so openly lambasted and caught in the middle of their dastardly acts....still all that said it comes back to our disconnect....she is a clear example of a larger problem.....we have be desensitized to each other, and our plights.....we strive to be more than our neighbors rather than elevate them with us.....and I fear where we will all end up.......and that my dear witches was not Social Media's fault nope that was all her.......

Somewhere we need to stop the hate, the devalue of our brothers and sisters and remember we are literally all one.....what hurts one hurts all....one change in one human can illicit a responsive change in all......start with you......be kind, be generous, look at someone and feel their energy and see their joy.....when they are in pain, elevate them, comfort them, be human and be kind.....remember to consider the feelings of the person you are commenting on, better yet don't comment, share their successes, create safe space for each other.....care about each others feelings, when you see someone fall, for fucks sake lift them up, don't stand above them criticizing how they got there....sure fire way to see that boot come your way, energy return is a grand and blessed thing, depending on which side of the boot you are.......

Let us try this week to recognize where and how we may be body shaming ourselves and those around us and then change that behaviour one moment and encounter at a time....let us try to reconnect with our fellow humans on this one little huge thing this week and next week we will try another step, and so on and son and maybe we can lead ourselves back to where we knew we were all one....at least this empath and witch can hope....

Blessings all!

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