2015 Yule Letter

Once again I have been away from my blog for a very extended amount of time, so much was going in my world that it was almost impossible at times to catch my breath....a whirlwind of change swept through our lives along with some very tough health issues for me this time...now finally at the end of the calendar year as I embrace Yule, I am finally able to speak, write and breathe, it almost feels good....almost.....there is an odd space in my heart and mind now that is not sure how to let this flow anymore so bear with me as I fumble around here, with my stilted sharing....it is amazing how hard this is for me now as I write this Yule Letter!

I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Yule and Happy Holidays no matter what you may celebrate; may it be in the company of those you love! This is a major year for our family, as this year started we were planning to visit our daughter as she was expecting our grandbaby; that visit turned into a more permanent situation! Seven months later we finally were able to go and get our adult children that were still 2 provinces away and all of our ~ well most of ~ our belongings, and of course my familiars that were waiting ever so impatiently there! It was hard and very costly and quickly put us back in the same situation we had worked so very hard to pull ourselves out of, poverty....my shop took a hit as well and is barely inching along, but when push came to shove all we could do was desperately pull our family back together rather than leave it split across 2 provinces. Costly or not, poverty or not there is not one iota of regret in my heart for what we did if anything there is more of a warm glow knowing that someday I will tell our little Jo how she pulled the family together and made it so we could never go away again, although her little eyes as they look in mine already seem to know how very special she is.

We are all starting over now, all five of us, each of us in our way....It will get better, I keep telling them all, and in my heart I know it will, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other we will keep putting it all back together, the family, our home....the challenges for us are always so large, the lights at the end of the tunnels though don't seem so distant now that we are surrounded by family. Here my son can get even better treatment for his brain tumor, I am able to get a doctor ~ first appointment Jan 4th! ~ and we are all eligible for medication subsidy finally! by mid February we should be all taken care of! these things may not seem so huge but when medication costs monthly are almost three hundred dollars and that is only for my husband and son, mine have not been possible for over 5yrs, this is a huge blessing! Thank you Trillium! As much as I miss the Ocean I am much happier about the positive changes, the growth I anticipate and eventually not living in the condition that had become an everyday acceptance in our lives....poverty, for now I am just stopping through on my way to something better. OH yes and I dealt with my feelings of missing the Ocean by bringing a 10L jug of sea water with me! when I am missing her terribly I mist some on my face and close my eyes and I am standing on the edge of the Atlantic all over again, my mother Yemaya always near holding me up.

That is where my life is right now, as I put it all back together I barely had everything out and ready for a Solstice Ritual this year but this I had to do, make wishes for me and you!

Here is my wish this Yule for all;

May poverty be eradicated in our lives and the lives of everyone else
May we all have all we need
May food never be something that we need to worry about again!
May your heat always work, your tanks be full and your hearts overjoyed with love!
As I so wish so Mote it Be!

Blessings from my family to yours!

Tess

My Cycle of Life, Death and Rebirth

"Memories light the corners of my mind
Misty water colored memories, of the Way we Were"
Barbara Streisand ~ The Way we Were

Memories are very private things, you can be in a room full of people during a large gathering and still in your mind be a million miles away reliving a moment that no one there is even a part of. I believe places hold memories and revisiting them triggers the re enactment of them in our hearts and minds, the full rage of emotions is free to take hold when that trigger goes off. I guess that for me that place is my little home town, even though I went to school in the big city of Toronto I grew up in the smallest of towns, a special breed of child, the one known as the cottager's kid, in a small town that never forgets that you are not a local. For me though there are some things about this town that I can never forget.

I came back to this town voluntarily, and the transition of being home has been interesting to say the least, there is a huge history here for me, quite a bit of it that is not the greatest of memories....In this town I lost everything I worked for due to illness, everyone that had been so wonderful when we had a thriving business turned their backs when we hit the rocks of poverty, everyone disappeared both familial and friends. This is the town that I was raped in, and the town that my rapist is buried in, it took me almost 3 decades to deal with that. This is the town that I held my father as he let his last breath go, although almost seven years ago now, still at the forefront of my painful memories. I am far from healthy here, my body breaks down and I struggle to deal with the past so it manifests in my physical life. How easy can it be to deal with the past when you face it each day, walk the same sidewalks and are forced to shop in the same stores. There is multitudes of pain here, memories that I can never erase and still I came back. 

To be clear I do not enjoy pain, but I am not good at running away either, when I left I was doing just that, cutting my losses, not facing my pain and just simply walking away from pain overload, it is now five years later, very unkind and difficult years by poverty standards. Who would ever think that poverty had standards but yes it does, some very stringent ones actually. Poverty has taught me much about who I am, who I was and who I want to be, something most people should learn at least once in their lives, but truthfully poverty is something that does not release its hold on you that easily. There are not many poor people that can boast a positive credit score, or have the resources to stretch that last dollar because sometimes that last dollar is actually just that the last dollar. The moment that one part of your foundation falls out from under you, which it does often with poverty the rest is like a house of cards it falls.....my poverty started here so I came back to face it, and face all the rest of them too. Of course being a minority, a witch and poor is a triple stack against me in this small town, anyone from a small town knows what that can be like. Every day I walk into the same areas I used to walk in before and still there are those that whisper, those that talk behind the scenes never having the courage to say to my face what they snicker about, still I hold my head up.....or try to. As our life unraveled here there was so much pain, hurt and anger.....everyday I deal with the consequences of the mental health issues that ran through our family, the losses that caused pain to rip people apart as I had to watch helpless as a mother and wife to help those I most loved, although no one really knew what was happening for us, the gossip train just rolled on with their versions and most times started by ex family members, people I helped who repaid me through their vicious lies to cover their own dirty hands. Everyday regardless of my own physical and mental health issues I get up and take care of everyone else, I deal with my pain quietly from even putting my foot on the floor, these are things that normally no one knows, but today finally after being here for a few months I feel the need to let it all out....maybe its the moon, or maybe its Samhain but either way this is only part of what I live with daily as I try to face my own demons, my memories.......it is hard shit doing this!

Everyday single day! I get up and I light my candle on my altar, everyday I chant to Yemaya, everyday I offer my love, faith and trust to her....everyday I ask for the strength to keep reclaiming my own life....this shit is hard to do, but I have faith that each day will make the next one easier.....at the end of each day I have my magic that gives me the strength to keep believing. 

May the Moon and Samhain bring us all what we need for this coming year....for me I finally let go of my pain on the last day of this five year cycle.....tomorrow I breathe fresh and step cleanly into our future.

Blessings

Tess

Perspective vs. Whispered Bullshit

Hi my name is Tess, some call me Teresa, others call me Mom, Avo, and even Bitch and StepBitch, yep I have many names......there are also just as many snide stories, comments and bullshit thoughts about me as there are real and genuine ones that come from relationships with me, people that went beyond what they thought they knew about me to actually get to know me and formulate a truthful opinion.  Today being my "bad" day in the healing process from the accidental prolonged exposure to gluten I guess the whole thing about the misconceptions has finally boiled over and I want to say a few things, so here goes!

1. I have an autoimmune disease and have had since I was in my late 20's and yes I was diagnosed with Fibro at 23, those wonderful brain fogs really get me, I miss my memories as sometimes they become jumbled and lost.....when digital cameras came along they became my best friends....they instantly preserve the memories for me so that I can look back and relive and remember sometimes important moments.....pictures fill in the holes in my own mind that chronic illness has taken.....so yes I share a lot of pictures and will for many more years to come, think of that next time you whisper.

2. I am pretty open about my life, my issues and what I may or may not have done but that does not mean that my family is up for discussion....I am like that mama Bear you might hear about protecting her young, except my young never get too old for me to do this, so tread very lightly when it comes to my family or you will meet the evil witch much sooner than you had hoped.

3. I have said this many times before but I guess I must say it again....even though I go by the name WiccanGodess ~ it is a LONG story ~ I am NOT Wiccan! I was when I started this walk into modern day witchcraft, but no I am NO longer a Wiccan.....I am a Witch plain and simple, I follow old ways that are more based on my own culture, both herbally and energetically......my path is one that is mixed with Brazilian/African culture and a somewhat Celtic slant that directly relates to my own heritage and its mixed history....I do not try to teach anyone, I answer questions when I can but because it is such a very personal path for me it is hard for others to grasp at times because I truly do things my own way....and yes that means I work with both sides of energy.

4. Yes I am an Artist, no this does not mean that I only create for the sake of creating and crafting, I wish I could but no I create because it helps me to support my family, as well as giving me a sense of freedom and purpose.....being disabled by disease and chronic conditions strips much of you away, battling it for almost 30 years now took parts of me that I thought I would never recover, until the wire, with every twist and turn I always feel my energy return....crafting saved my life on an internal and external level......crafting gives me hope.

5. Lastly! Judgement....have you heard me say before how much I hate judgment? there is always someone judging me, there is always something I am doing that is causing someone to get their knickers in a knot.....that bandwagon to jump on the judge, criticize, talk shit and smile to her face bandwagon seems to love to go around on a regular basis....sometimes I wonder if they ever stop to think that I know, of course I know....one of those gifts that I have carried my entire life is the gift of knowing, instantly seeing and hearing all of that.....sometimes not such a gift......let that shit go! or I promise you it will eat you up!

Perspective, there is mine and there is yours....sometimes when you don't know something your perspective is skewed.....try speaking to me, finding out what the scoop is instead of making up your mind based on half truths and someone else's whispered bullshit, I always give everyone one chance to ask questions.

and the block is gone!

Death, Change, Growth and Good Witches

This week has been one of those weeks that every day seems to stretch into an eternity, seeming like the week never ends but rather you are stuck in a time warp, over and over again something akin to the movie Groundhog Day, to say that I am glad, even extremely grateful to see the end of it would be an understatement. This week was surrounded with death, with reports in the media of a very unritualistic supposed Wiccan killing, the death of a television personality and ultimately one of our own landscape customers. Death was all around and visited close to home.....and if you are well acquainted with death then you know it will always make you think, go deep inside and visit those recess' of your heart and soul, couple that with the Blue Moon that was just last Friday and if you are an intuitive, empath or even slightly spiritual you will feel that you have been through the proverbial ringer....or at least I do.....

There were many emotions to process, when there is a life lost it is always a moment of sadness, some you find a way out of by feeling that at the very least they had a very good life and enjoyed it to the fullest although that is not really a comfort to the ones that are left missing them, or wishing that somehow they could turn back time to say all those things they thought they had tomorrow to say....tomorrow is never promised, say them today! I learnt this painful lesson when my father passed, I do my utmost to not leave things unsaid anymore.....so I told my mom I was sorry, for not stopping to see her as a woman before, for not being able to clear my eyes and see her reality before I lived it. That which you judge ye shall reap, yep and reap I did...I lived the crushing poverty, anyone that has been with me here on Witch's Chamber knows this, poverty to the point of putting food on the table to make sure they ate and you going without....the moments of sewing together clothes that the fibres have let go of simply because they have been worn through, so you learn to darn your clothes as if they were socks....I have lived through being a pariah and being treated like I was nothing, either because I am a witch, or the olive color of my skin or simply that I am different, not a complacent person, one that has a strong relationship with her husband and expresses her opinion because at the end of the day it is him and I against the world not him against me as parts of his family tried to make him believe.....amazing isn't it? I went to another province and lived her exact life, the hardships, the loneliness, the lack of connection with people that although there is nothing wrong with them you just cannot connect because you are from two different worlds, overall just a feeling of not belonging......I loved the place, I loved the Ocean and the ability to lay in Yemaya's waters, and I am thankful for those that tried real hard and made it through my protective shield, but I missed my own soil, never thought I would say that but I did.....I missed my own family, good or bad they get me.....although it was very hard to come back to this place where we lost it all, it was necessary to take back this part of our lives and do it right this time....one of the other things we experienced living through all that was also the great sense of family, the love and devotion we all have for each other even fractured right now with half here and half back there we still stand united, we have commitment, loyalty, strength and boundless love for each other....and for the rest of the world we have boundaries now, sealed in salt and dragons blood and a few other witchy things. Our personal visit from death this week finally made these words flow for me so here we go again, in an old place, a new beginning, this is scary shit! 

The more public visits by death made me quite upset, angry even at the ignorance of the sheriff in Pensacola, FL who felt the need to state things that he obviously knows nothing about! Stupid people say stupid things everyday but this well it was very irresponsible, in a time when moments of frenzy seem to take people over against one group or another for me means that people in authority should be more responsible with their words, the words uttered by that sheriff in total ignorance of what Wicca is or stands for are enough to cause witch hunts to break out.....people fear what they do not understand, and fear and ignorance make very dangerous bedfellows.......I know that elders in the community have done what they do and stood up and have attempted to clarify these things already so I am not writing this to hitch to their wagon, but simply because it really pissed me off......partially at our own community, how much bloody effort do we spend trying to discount each others paths? how much energy is spent with stupid ass witch wars? how much community is there these days that is not infected with ego, pride and my magic is better than yours? on the page I see it all the time, I delete and ban people for it! I have such a hard time wrapping my head around it really, for a community that purports to be about freedom of choice, finding your own path and all that jazz they sure do judge, snicker and put down anything that may not be part of their particular path.....before someone out there gets all freaky of course I am not saying everyone is like this but if you are honest you will admit that there is a strong number of them that are.....how do we ever expect anyone out there that isn't Pagan to understand if we as a community cannot even understand each other? Someone on my page asked me about a post, wondering what it had to do with being a witch, sad part is that yes the post did not mention or discuss witchcraft at all very true but the point it did go to was about being a good person and that was lost in their need to proclaim their path as the best and only way.....sad, angering, upsetting and well just a very clear example of what is being lost....us, you , me all of us we are getting lost in the fight to prove which way up the mountain we should all go....wake up! we cannot make the rest of the non Pagan world understand if we cannot find unity within ourselves! 

Broaden your perspective, try to listen to those around you, judge not, accept yes......this life is all you have to make a difference, all you have to make others see....now what would you like them to see? Be good people....makes being a witch so much better! 

Blessings all!

Lammas and The Blue Moon cometh....

As Lammas approaches I realize that I have bottled up words, feeling like they are churning and twisting so much to say, but the inability to let them just come.....that has been the challenge since moving here. A part of me feels so strongly that the reason is because if I say them then this dream will end, the reality will be we will still be living in the state of poverty we were in, this will have been all a dream that we resisted waking up from, but something inside me has changed forever so I can't ignore it any longer. Truth is I resist success, not just mine but as a whole within even my own relationships, I shy away from the limelight and when you are successful everyone sees you, they even seek you out, so I purposely do not allow myself to get right there to the point of no return, but rather shine for a bit and then let it dim slowly till almost out of sight only to start the whole cycle again without ever passing that threshold.

This is not a new concept to me but one that I struggle with every so often, always looking to find my way through it if even in a little tiny way, a glimmer of an extra step forward each time being what I strive for, sometimes I manage it sometimes not so much, either way the inner turmoil of it all makes me hide thereby negating all my efforts leading up to the threshold of success. So I am forced to delve back into my psyche and decipher why, where are my feelings of worth still lacking? where have I discounted my value in myself, what words are there that hang there like a curtain blocking my light? I have realized that for me words carry the most weight, bruises heal but words they continue to fester and infect all around them, years later when I feel I have grown beyond them they have a nasty way of coming back to bite me again, like that snake you didn't notice as you stepped down onto the grass, startled it lashes out, my heart lets loose with its deepest wounds.......this healing thing seems to be a life long process, with many layers to it because just when I think I have done it I find there actually is a much deeper layer I hadn't realized I had to sort through as well. A lifetime process it seems to keep healing, at times I wonder how many lifetimes and ancestral lines am I actually working on healing in this path? but I trudge on, this blog is today's step. Today I face my fear of success, and being thrust forward, and I admit it, I find for me the first step in healing and really growing beyond my comfort zone is to admit where my issues are. I hope this helps me to be able to let go enough to finally finish the book, where I have realized my issue lies in letting all see and read for themselves how I practice, how I deal and how I cope, I mean in all honesty what could be more personal than a book about me and by me? maybe that is why I agonize over its content, I share bits and pieces but hold back on letting it all be seen.....and yes that stems from my fear of rejection something that I have struggled with all my life, from playground to boardroom......in all aspects of all relationships, the rejections have been the hardest to come to grips with, very personal and core issues for me. At the root of it all I fear success because of the pain of rejection and ridicule.  Not very glamorous, but very human, witch or not I am still very human....

Now that I have delved into my heart again, I feel that this Lammas I shall give thanks and much gratitude for the wonderful and bountiful harvest we have been given, a roof over our heads, food on the table and a wonderful home to live in, all we ever wished for really has been granted, and we are working on the financial security to a certain degree, or as much as you can when working for yourselves. There really is so so much to be thankful for, when poverty was not so long ago, when it was a stretch to make the meals last and the constant pleas to utility companies was enough to crush my spirit, it really was only 3 months ago....part of me wonders if the newness of it all is not also contributing to my trepidation about how solid it all is.....maybe I have to let it sink in that the drought is really over......and this, all of this is what I choose to lay down in front of the Gods for this Full Blue Moon, the moment of final balancing for me and the wish to finally pass that threshold that eludes me of success, at least what I consider to be success. 

Have you thought of what you will be thankful for this Lammas? or what you wish to work with for this amazing Moon that comes on Friday? if you haven't it might be a great opportunity to work with your own core and see where you can use the help of this amazing energy, or at the very least celebrate the energy of harvest and gratitude with those you love, you won't regret it......this is all for me now, onto swimming in the river and letting the waters run over my body as it washes away the fears and prepares me for the growth I seek.

Blessings and love to you all! 

Diffusing the Hate, it starts with you!

Every so often I sit back and watch the world revolve around me, it is an amazing thing to do to be like the vultures and allow yourself to ride the currents of life, but every so often a frenzy will whip up in the winds around me and I have no choice but to speak up and today there are a couple of things I need to clear up it seems.

First! NO ETSY IS NOT DISCRIMINATING AND REMOVING MAGICAL SHOPS or WITCH RELATED SHOPS! I am so sick and tired of seeing these damn headlines that are perpetuating a lie and at the same time whipping up everyone into this needless frenzy of anger about being discriminated against, this really is not the case.  The truth of this situation is that when we chose to be sellers on Etsy we agreed to their Terms of Service, much like any site that you get on in order to use it you must agree to their terms, after all you are using their site not your own, on top of that first thing there is the much more important thing than just choosing a site, there is the law of your own land, wherever you may live has it's own laws, familiarize yourself with them because breaking these ones come with bigger consequences than just having your shop taken down.  Now how you might ask how do I know that the big bad mean Etsy is NOT discriminating, well it is very simple I make no secret of my life path, my shop is named Witch's Chamber and yes I have tarot readings and spell kits on offer there.....and when all this started and I began hearing the rumblings of this I was at first worried, but I felt that I should do nothing, then about two weeks ago I received an email from an Etsy admin, letting me know that they had moved my two metaphysical services to their new heading, that's right not telling me that they were removing my shop, or the listings no they weren't doing that, they were simply moving them because like I was told in the letter my descriptions of my services did NOT contravene their Terms of Use nor did they go against the law of the country I live in.  I really struggle with these situations when everyone seems to be jumping on the hate Etsy bandwagon, I am by no means a part of the administration there but fair is fair, there are many other reasons to complain about Etsy but to do it based on an outright lie well then that is just horrible! at least in this witch's humble opinion! Besides if you walk this path be honest with yourself how many times have you looked at the ads and listings that promise burn this candle and you will lose 30lbs, or check out this haunted gypsy witch pendant buy it and wear it and you will win the lottery how many times have you seen these ads and shook your head and realized that these types of wording give an inacurate definition of what it is to cast a spell or work magic? let's be honest most of us distance ourselves from these things so why act like it isn't so? not to mention the ever so simple statement of why oh why! would you accept terms of service, then go about breaking them and then be upset when your shop is gone? I simply cannot wrap my head around this one! seems utterly stupid. The cone of anger over it needs to stop, the raising of energy that is whipping into this engine under its own steam needs to stop, it is completely unjust.

Next! my page; no hell my whole existence is about Witch's Chamber, not just the Facebook page but the whole idea of it, the living breathing soul of me that I put out there daily; I live and breathe my magic each day, I simply don't even know how to live any other way without living and breathing my magic, any other way is simply completely unauthentic for me.......so on my page, I share all manner of things, some pique my interest others I find amusing and some things I love and others I don't but find value in sharing them as someone out there might have need of it or enjoy it or even find some sort of comfort in it. I am saying all this today because I have never had to ban so many people like this last weekend, the traces of racism, homophobia and just down right inappropriate and rude comments were just unbelievable. I fully understand and appreciate everyone's right to their own religion but in truth if you are a radical Christian why would you want to be on my page?  I mean I know there are many on my page that are Christian and I have no issue with that and I am not here to bash Christianity at all, after all my husband and a few of my kids are Christian and we all co exist in the family circle quite well and discuss our beliefs openly so please before you bash me for saying this be sure of what you are doing, the truth is it just boggles my mind when comments are made about how my posts offend you, being that the page and I are very clear about what it is and what it represents and yet you still find offence? well then in truth you do not belong on the page, plain and simple truth, whether you be Christian, Pagan or whatever else there is, there is no room on my page for bigots, racists or religious zealots ~ the Urban Dictionary version! ~ there is no room at this Inn! so keep on walking or scrolling as the case may be!

Now I know that for these two moments of clearing the air and expressing my truths I will have pissed someone off, made someone feel slighted or called them out or whatever else is the fashionable term of the day for offending someone by speaking the truth, well so be it, people really need to start acting like adults and living and breathing their truth not hiding behind lies, hate and ignorance....

EDUCATE yourself and others! INSPIRE change, love, growth and acceptance NOT HATE! we really are all one!

Blessings and Gratitude, Love and Growth comes to Witchs Chamber

I can't believe how long it has been since I have written! Each day I meant to sit and write but in truth there was so much activity so much going on that while my mind kept jotting it down wanting to parlay it to my fingers there was just no time to sit and do it, and if there was then I was not finding it! From the moment we decided this was what we wanted; to come back to this place and reclaim the remanents of our old life here, our lives took up a lightening speed kinda of track....I know to a certain extent I feel that I have been propelled forward as if on some amazing amusement park ride that comes complete with the materialization of your dreams.....this year has been that big! and ripe with changes for us...geographical ones, family ones and even as trivial as it may sound to some the jumping ship from Chevy to Dodge, which was huge for my old guy! This has truly been a time of magic, wonder and amazing amounts of love; both shared and received. I have many reasons to be thankful and grateful to the Gods, the Ancestors, the Orishas and all of you that have walked along this very bumpy and sometimes dark road, without you all I would not be here, I would not be writing this and I most certainly would not feel as blessed in this life as I do. Thank you! Now let me fill you in on it all!

First yes the great moment of Chevy not being the chosen one for us anymore, this was a heated and quite often upsetting debate in our home. He of course loved his Chevy and swore off anything Dodge related and me well I loves me a good ol Dodge! For as many years as we have been together we have debated this, until this year....when it came time to find a mini van, our Chevy's 2nd engine having died again last year, this year our grandbaby was coming so we had to find something suitable to make the trek back here, her birth being the catalyst to all these changes actually! so we searched only to read horrible reviews on every Chevy we found available, but Dodge Caravan well that was a whole other deal, so he began to think maybe this was a definite and viable option for us and then low and behold the perfect Dodge just seemed to show up, the former owners were so very agreeable to work with and she became our Blue Thunder and now a couple of months later I am happy to say that my old guy is a converted Dodge lover! quite a bit of magic there! and this does not even touch on the magic that was alive in the funding of this vehicle! when it seemed most hopeless the amount of love and support from all of you in sharing my links and my shop generated such an amazing stream of income that the purchase came together in less than a month! I am so very blessed! that one purchase changed our life!

When we arrived back here, ready to stay with our daughter and son in law, we knew it would be for a while, we hoped it would be for a long while, we never expected that it would be the beginning of our move back here, well let's say I don't think my old guy expected it, me I had a few little messages about the way things would go here, but! as they started to unfold let me just say even for me the level of energy, magic, blessings and overall abundance that would suddenly flow our way well....it truly knocked me on my ass! we came back hoping that we could find a viable option for work for the old guy, within 24hs there were offers on the table, there were customers wanting services from cleanup to interior work.....just what he wanted, exactly as he asked the Gods for there it was....then a home that materialized and is perfect for our family, it just manifested before our eyes the likes of which we never thought we would have AND now she is ours....working on furnishing it and the logistics of getting everyone here and under the same roof, and moving what we have across country, tricky situations but it will work itself out I am sure of it! and well Witch's Chamber has taken a bit of a hit due to all this going on and my inability to settle yet, I hope this now will change! On one deck here I can watch the sunrise and on the other watch the beautiful sunsets....again! blessed by the Gods, ever so grateful for this amazing gift of shelter. We are so very blessed!

Then the most amazing of the blessings came to be! on Saturday we all settled in under our new roof, the first time I have had my husband and I with two of our girls under the same roof in about 5 years now, since the move to New Brunswick, it was the perfect day for it the weekend of Mother's day we were all going to have dinner, followed by a lovely pancake brunch on the morning of Mother's day, well! didn't our little Josephine have a different plan! She definitely thought it was the perfect day to grace her mummy with her presence and of course her grand mummy! me! It was a difficult and hard labour with complications at the end, my beautiful baby girl has never liked to do anything easily and this was no different! but I am very happy to say that both Nicole ~ my baby ~ and Josephine ~ her baby~ are both doing well now! and once again Nicole has taught me even more about life, relationships and the level of love that I carry for my little miracle baby, thank you for making me a grandmother! Jo is named after my father, and already I know I feel him dancing for joy because he just loved when little girls were born, he was the one Portuguese man that I knew that never said he preferred sons to daughters, never once and when he heard it was a girl he celebrated it because he believed they were so very special.....I know this pleased him....and little Jo has already taught us that we would much rather be here, I cannot imagine being 18 hrs away when she popped into this world, I cannot imagine not being there for her mummy.....our family can no longer be fractured and in that moment whatever amount of doubt that was left about is this the right decision for our family well it was squashed, forever ground under our feet....we are all stepping together forward, heads held high, we know this is the right move for us all so Ontario you are home again.

Change is growth, change is good....growth is essential, stagnation is not an option.....breathe and trust in the directions of the Gods, the Ancestors and the Orishas.....breathe keep stepping, that is the new mantra for our family, just believe and keep stepping! Now the old guy is starting his own little business, working towards building a customer base that will help us support us through the winter and help us to keep the roof over our heads and food on the table, lots of good energy would be appreciated for his continued growth and abundance, this is so very important to him and to our family! Thank you all!

Phew! so can you imagine that this has all transpired since mid March to now! can you imagine what it is like to have your whole life change in such a small span! my head was spinning and there were just too many words! and oh so so much gratitude! it overwhelmed me and made me drop to my knees literally and kiss the Earth, thanking my mother Yemaya and my Goddess Hecate, sending loving gratitude to all the Gods that played a part in bringing all these abundances in every way into our life! the blessings from our Ancestors are overflowing and abundant! Thanks be to all! and to all of you I send Blessings of love, abundance, smiles and healing!!

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