12 September 2013

As I so wish, it shall be

There is an eerie kind of calm on this road, it always has an intense undercurrent of silence, but today it is amplified and deeper somehow.  The side of the mountain is illuminated by the sun's rays as it peaks through the dark cloud above.  Amazingly the hole seems so small in comparison to the amount of light that shines through giving a kind of ethereal glow to the house and property, centralized, localized right here.  The boy and I are enjoying the light rain as it falls softly on the awning, sitting under mother locust waiting for my "friend".

This morning while lounging in bed, the boy excitedly ran in to tell me my "friend" was in the driveway to see me.  Not just any friend, my birdie friend.  Eagle came and sat in the driveway and squawked, the boy heard it and knew, Eagle was here to see mum, because mum has animal friends and she talks to the animals, isn't that awesome? he doesn't need me to justify to him that I do it he just knows I do and its as natural and normal to him as any other part of his day.  Magical, wondrous and uplifting, our visit with Eagle this morning, now our current visitor is a bit of a strange looking bird, kind of a cross between a woodpecker and a mourning dove.  We do though enjoy his company while we nibble on our gluten and gmo free toast with old-fashioned homemade jams, tomato jam for me and blueberry for him.

The boy learnt today to make a wish on a dropped eyelash, as he blows it away his wish is simple, closing his eyes " I wish Papa could stay home and not go to worky work and that we still have nummies"  Every morning he stands either in the driveway or doorway asking Papa the same thing "Why do you have to go worky work?" and he hears "So that I can buy nummies for all of us, someday you will be a big boy and you too will go to work so that you can take care of your family too."  Although the boy nods, by his wish it is evident that he doesn't like it.  I don't either.  I wish the same.  That somehow my health hadn't cost us everything, that we had that property now, that he could have his little home based thing, we know the boy would be in heaven.  this would be the part where I insert the reality driven "But" and appear to accept willingly that my current conditions in life are my fault and that I should just be grateful that I have what I have instead of wishing for what I don't have, BUT ~ironic huh?~ not this time.

"By all the powers of manifestation, it will be! Mark my words, our wishes will be our reality. Our dreams will come true."

I have one thing that no one or any situation can ever take from me, it is the source of my strength, the way I manage to hold my head up and keep going, I have faith.  Just like the blueberries on the side of the mountain, the plants now prepare to wither and die away, having spent their energy and provided a bountiful harvest.  They will come again, thrive and give an abundance of sweetness, such is the cycle, such is life.  The abundance, sweetness and tastiness of life is ours too as the wheel turns.

I wish it.  I will it.  I have faith.

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